frank archives:
the first frank
archive #1
The Mysterious Appearance
Due to how common Franks are today, many humans forget that there was once a time when no one knew they existed.
Because they didn't.
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Before the 15th century, humans believed they were the only intelligent species on Earth. They went about their lives completely unaware that giant creatures were preparing to appear on their planet.
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The earliest known Frank remains were discovered in a geological layer dated to the year 1633. With further inspection, researchers concluded that the individual Frank had lived for 126 years. This Frank is known as the 'First Frank'. Researchers still argue whether the First Frank was actually named Frank, or if they simply assumed. After the First Frank, the world became populated with Frank kind.
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Till this very day, the mystery remains unsolved. Through centuries of research, not one shred of remains or artefacts can provide a solid reasoning to the sudden existence of Frank kind. There have however been countless theories, the most well known, and almost believed worldwide is the Crater Theory.
The Crater Theory
This theory has persisted for centuries now. Many humans believe that Franks are actually interstellar creatures who have crash landed on earth (AKA aliens).
The evidence? Enormous ass shaped craters left on earth.
Image dated back to late 1600s, believed to be First Frank's
According to researchers, a Frank's fart can produce a force of up to 200 tons. Thus, the theory is that amidst space, Franks used their farts as rocket thrust to propel itself further into deep space. Critics have pointed out that there is no concrete evidence of Frank space travel. Supporters argue that the lack of evidence simply means the Franks “farted too hard and erased it.”